broken

no one could help me besides myself...no others...no one could really stand by my side....

god, thanks for giving me "sa,ooi, yiing and yee" besides me...


otherwise, i will fell lonely and nothing besides me...i appreciated it...

what i wish now not your "sorry"...

just hope u all are in healthy and happy life now.....

how wish i can back to home and stay with u mum....i miss u..

can u please dont scold me anymore? i feel unsecured...can please please just hug me?

even im 21 years old but still like a baby, mum....

however, i promised, i will take care myself and stand up!no more sad


although i need times to cure my broken heart....

我真痛了。。

how i can forget what happening to me? brother treated me as stranger..

mother blamed us not treat her nicely....

dad always busy on his works..nothing at all...

me? i need u all...but how ? means nothing at all....

recently~~

depressed

Have you experienced setbacks??? 

Setbacks seem to always come at the worst possible time too.

They are often deemed the straw that broke the camel’s back. 

I would have felt like life was conspiring against me, dragging me down. 

I would have felt unlucky.

what i need to do just trusting myself and do what should i do..

but not to expect others....

high expectation high disappointment....

what i need just time to release my stress...

i just hope i can stand over all rubbish in my life now....

Should i shut my mouth?? well...i should...

sometimes i felt that all people around have changed...but actually they aren't....

maybe have own personalities? nope...is maybe something 

sad or bad happened that could make them changed?

i have no right to judge as i'm not that 

kind of perfect girl....ain't?

Bad tempered? yea..this should be me....but i love all my friends... 

the one who makes me angry is the one who i care about...

u care me?

bad tempered????

bad tempered!! feel mad...dont you know that how bad n rude are you? your personality really such....i cnt explain it! u think you're so beautiful? when others talk about the truth about u, but u're so rude and talk to others badly!!!! speechless!!

你还是你吗？

where are you? i can't even understand why ..can anyone tell me why? why?..i asked myself every night....am i useless and not important to u all ady? why you hide the truth? i can't believe this is you....why not from your mouth telling me that where are you..
i feel that i wan cry out!! it's so hard to control myself.....i cn't cry..can't....

Cant lie that how much im worrying mum n didi now.....i hate myself...im not a good daughter...not a good sister and absolutely, im not a good girlfriend..how wish i can back to home now...but how? i can't leave at this moment....all assignments and midterm waiting for me....(..

when i knew dad are in oversea now, feel glad coz u're safety now..but my mind was blank afterwards! "i hate u" this words coming out in my mind....but i really miss u dad.....im not comfortable....im so stress..

last time, when i stress and darkness, you will be there for me...but i have alots of things to share with you....i need you dad....really....mummy for sure so lonely now....brother need your advises...pls contact me as soon as possible...can? *praying*

today, my mood so down....mad.....pissed off!! i hate myself like this.....really.....alots of things hovered me now....im so sad...so sad....i can't expressed my feelings to buddies besides me..it's quite hard to speak....

Do you know, dad? i have called bernard....he was moody too...he worried about his future and hate himself...he said mummy dont want him anymore....its hurt...i can feel that mummy was mad and sad now....how dad? i worried......

i wan back to sabah..i promise, i will back soon....i wan back...

complicated)

"kampar is a boring place!!" yea....cn't imagine without u all(geteksss) what could be my life here? oppsss..."house women'? haha....however, it was about 4 months for not updating my blog huh? well, now should be the time for me...boring~~hahaXD...how to express my feelings? hard to speak out...;(
alots of bad happening around this month~~i miss my family...my dad..my mum n bro... ! in first, i thought i cn't forgive my brother..but in fact, i miss him....he broke his promises....out of my expectation...totally! anyway, this road is his election...ain't?  but, as a sister, i never do good job responsibilities towards him!!! DUMB!
my dad was disappeared for 3 days....never pick up my call...how sad am i..how could i stand on it? darkness hovered me right now...i worried my mum...can feel her sadness now...as a woman, she maybe heartbroken....i can't accept the fact!!! where u dad? can somebody give me an answer now? pls...
however, luckily u all(getekss) besides me now....many bad things happened to us these days....but we're not alone~~ i hope someday we can probably move out of this darkness! love ya....

we're not alone~~enjoying our kampar boring place with MAMAK, junk foods, online, games, ipoh trip, daily meals...bla bla bla..most important is "birthday surprise"! haha...ZzzZ...
 Thanks KUTU!! im feel better)

 our "rubbish"..haha